April 11 // How to Enjoy Parenting, Daily Siesta Time, & More

why we don't like being with our kids (and how to change that)

Hello! Today’s topic is a biggie and you’ll probably see it rehashed later in these newsletters: it’s important that you enjoy parenting. More specifically, it’s important that you enjoy your kids. When kids believe that their parents actually like them, it gives them confidence and helps them like themselves!

That’s one of the big reasons we create these newsletters: to help parents and caregivers enjoy their kids. For many of us, it doesn’t come as naturally as expected, and you might find yourself asking, “Why did I take this path in life?”

If you dread the morning footsteps, or the 4-7 pm “witching hour,” or the summers when the kids are home from school, a couple quick tips or contemplative questions won’t fix everything. But maybe there are some things you can think through or change that can help.

1. Identify Unmet Expectations

Ask yourself:

• Why did I choose to become a parent/caregiver in the first place?

• Is my current life lining up with that dream? (And was my dream even good or realistic?)

• What unmet expectations do I have with my kids?

• In what ways am I disappointing myself with my own parenting?

Just because your current life doesn’t match up with your previous expectations doesn’t mean that it should. But unmet expectations—especially ones we didn’t realize we had—can cause a lot of damage. It’s good to begin by realizing what’s there. Maybe you’ve lost sight of the vision.

2. Can You Help Your Kids Be Less Difficult and Annoying?

This might sound harsh, but maybe the reason you’re not enjoying parenting is that your kids are not enjoyable to be around.

If your child—no matter their age—spends a lot of time on Minecraft, Youtube, Snapchat, Tiktok, etc., they are probably going to be just as annoying as a composite of the people they’re watching.

There’s a difference between loving unconditionally and failing to create boundaries. Passivity is not the same as love.

Creating boundaries for your kids can give them the gift of dignity. If you help cultivate a positive attitude, respect for others, original thinking, creativity, compassion, a love for learning, etc., you are helping your kids be interesting people that you—and others—will enjoy.

We don’t want to raise people-pleasers who are obsessed with their own likability, of course, but we do want to help them be confident people who like themselves. (Liking yourself is one of the big foundations of true humility, by the way.)

Questions:

• Why don’t I enjoy being with my kids?

• What are some influences in their lives that are shaping their personalities in annoying ways?

• What are some boundaries we can create—and different influences we can encourage—that can help our kids like themselves more?