Forgetfulness, Selfishness, Gratitude, and Happiness!

how all these things (or lack thereof) are connected

Hello!
This month’s focus is on Gratitude. Predictable theme for November, sure, but the effects of gratitude can be truly life-changing. I hope we all grow a lot this month!

Have you ever thought about the connection between selfishness and forgetfulness?

It’s the same for every age, whether we’re fighting over a toy or yelling at an incompetent coworker. When we make decisions that hurt ourselves and others, all we see is how we’re not getting what we want. In that moment, we’ve forgotten all that we have.

We forget our security and only see the scarcity.

Sometimes we forget all the people who have gone before us and made sacrifices so that we can have what we have—or even exist at all. Sometimes we forget how much we’re loved, and we forget how rich we are because of the people in our lives. Sometimes we just see how much they annoy us.

Many cultures and religions have created entire holidays centered around remembering and gratitude, such as this week's Dia De Los Muertos and All Saints’ Day. People throughout history have noticed that it’s healthy and important to stop and remember those who have gone before us, and many cultures have built remembrance into their schedules. We have tried this here in America too, but our holiday of Thanksgiving—an obligatory gathering with annoying family members—is often full of anything but actual thanks.

Many of us come from families that do not have a heritage of love. It’s maybe never been clear that they are loved. Maybe this is true for you. If so, we grieve about that with you. But this is also an invitation to do things differently in your own family.

Scientific studies and lots of good stories make it clear that gratitude is a major key to health and happiness. (And, reminder, a mindset of gratitude is free.)

Let’s take time this week to focus on remembering that we’re loved and pausing to celebrate how rich we are because of the people in our lives. Yes, even the people who spit up on our shirts and spill cups of water every day and stress us out with their complex emotions.

Here’s a very sweet and eye-opening video about a guy who sought out to thank everyone who had a part in making his morning cup of coffee…and he ended up thanking over 1,000 people from all over the world! It’s really cool to think about 🌎

Challenge: 30 Days of Gratitude

Here’s a challenge for your whole family: take a moment each day to write down something you’re all grateful for. You can do it on a blank sheet of paper or—if you hope to do this practice more regularly—maybe invest in a really cool-looking journal that your family will be excited to add to. One of the best parts of a gratitude journal is looking back and seeing all the bright spots from previous days, even the really hard days.

(We bought this one; it’s tiny and kinda pricey but it feels like the type of journal that becomes a family heirloom.)

This Month’s Book: anything about gratitude by Robert Emmons

A name I kept seeing pop up in “Best Books on Gratitude” lists was Robert Emmons. After gobbling up two of his books on gratitude and starting a third, I quickly saw why. They’re full of research, anecdotes, and practical advice.

Audiobook: Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity
[Very] Short Book: The Little Book of Gratitude
Paperback: Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier

Thanks for reading!

We’ve got some great stuff planned for this month; here’s what to expect. You’ll only get one or two more emails to your inbox this week, and the rest will be linked to on next Monday’s post or you can access them at FamilyScripts.com! Feel free to send anything to a friend if you think it would help them 😊 I hope you have a great week!

Warmly,
Hope from Family Scripts