June 13 // Loving Our Own Bodies (and Helping Our Kids Love Theirs)

some encouraging things to keep in mind

Hello! This week as we talk about health and strength, I think it’s time to encourage you to reframe how you think about your body. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Your kids are listening when you talk about your body.

If your four-year-old asks how many calories are in a muffin or if she is worried about gaining weight, she might need a conversation about loving her own body. On the other hand, if your four-year-old is stuffing candy in her face like there’s no tomorrow, she might need a conversation about loving her own body, too. We don’t want our kids to learn how to be disgusted with what they see in the mirror. We want them to be the kind of people who love imperfect people, right? So maybe we can show ourselves some compassion when we look in the mirror and see imperfection, too.

Your body is more wonderful than you think.

Remember when we talked about how your attention is worth more than you think? Many of the addictive decisions we make with technology are because we don’t place a high value on our own thoughts. In the same way, our bodies are magnificent. Humans are the crown of creation. The complexity of all the systems that work together to make us function so well that we can create masterpieces and have rich and beautiful relationships…whether you’re at your ideal weight or not, there’s a lot to marvel at. And doesn’t that make you want to treat your body better, too?

Your body, as it is right now, makes you more relatable to certain people.

Whether you weigh 400 pounds or 180 or 99, there are people who have your same insecurities, and they are looking for someone who looks like them so they can talk about their own bodies and feelings to someone who understands. Some people feel like they simply can’t relate to a super-fit person, and some super-fit people feel like they can’t relate to someone who doesn’t prioritize fitness like they do. Ideally we would all be able to get along regardless of appearance, but we can’t deny the reality that what you look like, right now, in this season of life, makes you more approachable to some people. You might be able to make them feel more safe and comfortable. That’s a gift.

Body ideals are merely trends throughout history and they vary by culture.

Go to an art museum! You might see yourself as the cultural standard of beauty in seventeenth-century Italy, or in ancient Egypt. Social media and plastic surgery have made beauty ideals very confusing for people today. Diet and exercise can’t make you look like the people you idolize on Instagram if they are born with completely different genetics or if they went under the needle to achieve their desired shape. It’s difficult to even measure how much the images we’re bombarded with affect us, but if you look around, very few people you intermingle with are reaching those ideals. So don’t let idealized images hold sway in your perception of yourself.

There are plenty of people who do want to hear about the choices that you’re proud of.

It’s easy to make fun of the person who shares on social media every time he goes for a run, or for the person who is obsessed with CrossFit, but…a lot of us are really happy that our friends are feeling good. Your mom might want you to send a picture of a grocery cart filled with healthy foods. Your spouse might want a sweaty selfie every time you work out. Many of your followers might want to see an appetizing meal that you made. Find people who are encouraged by your personal growth, and invite them to cheer you on. You never know what kind of ripple effect that will have, too.

What’s even better than teaching your kids that you’re proud of them is teaching them how to be proud of themselves.

If you can model this for them, that’s awesome! Showing your kids that you want to have more energy and feel stronger—and yes, that you want to feel really confident in your clothes—teaches them a lot about being self-motivated. And if your fitness aspirations are becoming a toxic obsession? You can show them how to deal with that, too. They are going to deal with body problems when they get older, too, so your own health journey is like the classroom for them.

One more thing: this is more serious than we usually share about on here, but in case you needed to hear it ⬇️

If you aren’t “enough” for your spouse anymore, that doesn’t actually have anything to do with you.

If your spouse blames you for their porn use or affairs, that doesn’t actually mean that you are too ugly or not good enough. Think about all the super-attractive celebrities that have been cheated on! That decision was clearly based on the appetite of the cheating spouse and not on the insufficiency of the other. If your spouse has a cheating problem, that’s their problem. They need to figure out how to make good on the promises they’ve made to you. If you are a woman who has been broken by betrayal, I highly recommend the resource my friend Rachel created called Restored Home.

That was a lot to process but hopefully these points encouraged you!

We’ve got some other great things going on this week (for paid subscribers):

Tuesday: Sidewalk Chalk Art
Wednesday: Part 2 of Food Rules
Thursday: Super-Simple Meal Inspiration
Friday: Reader Questions: Schooling Decisions

Warmly,

Hope from Family Scripts

P.S. You can save the graphics below to your phone if you want to keep any in mind. And I look forward to some great further input in the comments! :)