March 2 / Books + Discussions // Digital Minimalism, My Tech-Wise Life, and More

Even if you aren't reading along, you'll get something out of this :)

Hello! Today is the first day of Lent and the second day of our “digital decluttering” challenge. We would LOVE to hear how the first couple days of this challenge have been. It’s scary how often our fingers find themselves opening certain apps…and when those apps are deleted, it’s like our fingers are looking for their comfort blankets to no avail. It’s quite uncomfortable at first. (Many of you aren’t addicted to tech, which is awesome, but…many of us definitely are 😬)

This month we’re reading some great books, but even if you’re not reading them, you might enjoy thinking through some of these quotes and questions. These are some deep thoughts, so take your time on these. Feel free to screenshot the quotes/questions and revisit them later.

(But don’t discuss all this stuff on a date night. Please don’t ruin a fun evening with heavy questions and blame Family Scripts 😅)

Grownup Book Club: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, Introduction and Chapter 1

1. It’s interesting that when the iPhone was invented, it wasn’t intended to be a handheld computer on which we spend 6+ hours a day. An original team member for the iPhone said “This was supposed to be an iPod that made phone calls.” (pg 5) None of us were ready for what smartphone technology has morphed into! In what ways has your technology use transformed into something more harmful than you intended?

2. “Minimizing distraction and respecting users’ attention would reduce revenue. Compulsive use sells.” (pg 12) Would you say you use your phone compulsively? Is it possible that you’ve been devaluing your own attention?

3. A product manager who helped develop Facebook’s “Like” button is quoted on page 22: “Whatever we’re hoping to see, it never quite meets that bar.” Have you seen this dissatisfaction with yourself and your own reaction to “likes” on your posts? Have you noticed this with content creators who are ultra-popular but still never seem to have enough followers or engagement?

Older Kid Book Club: My Tech-Wise Life by Amy Crouch and Andy Crouch, Introductions and Chapter 1

1. We chose this book because of its perspective. Amy’s parents were really intentional with their family’s tech use, so now we can read how their 19-year-old daughter turned out and what she thought of her upbringing! When your kids grow up, how do you think they would describe your family’s relationship with technology?

2. “So here’s my hope: developing small countercultural habits might be like yeast. Small, imperfect actions can bring air and light into my life.” (pg 17) What kind of seemingly unrelated positive benefits do you think might occur just because of a change in the ways you use technology?

3. “The thing is, when we try to document our lives, we start to notice that our lives are not always the best documentary material. (pg 31)” “Again and again in our lives, we’ll be overwhelmed by these anxieties and insecurities.” Do you struggle with anxiety and insecurity? How much of it do you think subconsciously occurs because of your social media use?

Picture Books

These stories don’t really have anything to do with tech addiction; they’re just sweet and fun.

Jamie O’Rourke and the Pookah by Tomie DePaola - This story isn’t for everyone because the characters drink a lot of cider (and the Pookah looks creepy) but it’s a fun little story…the type that introduces silly family legends. You can say things like “Let’s clean this up before a Pookah gets to it!” …while obviously assuring your kids that the Pookah isn’t real.

Full, Full, Full of Love by Trish Cooke and illustrated by Paul Howard is a sweet story about family love (in particular, grandma love.) This book was helpful as I responded to my 4-year-old’s innocently rude question about why an older person had such a “squishy” neck. “When people get older, they get softer, because then it’s easier for snuggling kids like you! We are full, full, full of love!” (Thanks for this book suggestion, Sarah.)

The Red Book by Barbara Lehman (Caldecott winner) is an imaginative wordless book about being connected to other people around the world. It sparks creativity and wonder, and by the end, you might feel like you traveled far and wide.

Story Prompt: Global Tech Shutdown

Write a story, draw a picture, perform a play, form a sculpture…invite your kids to do something creative with these weekly prompts.

“If a software virus suddenly made all the phones and computers in the world shut down, what would our world look like?”

This is nuanced and a bit of a dark question, because phones and computers help us with all kinds of important things like traffic lights, medical records, talking to grandparents, flights, etc. Tech isn’t all inherently bad. For a younger crowd, you might ask them:

“If everybody’s smartphones stopped working, what do you think would be different about the world?”

Hopefully this is helpful!

Warmly,

Hope and the Family Scripts Team