May 6 // To The Unappreciated Mothers

a letter to moms and motherly figures

Mother’s Day is this weekend, and it can be a very painful time for many women who wish to be mothers, have experienced loss, miss their own mothers, or any combination of other hard things. If this is you, I want you to know that you are seen and there are so many who are feeling that heaviness with you. May something bright and beautiful happen for you on Sunday.

But I also want to write a letter to all the women who sacrifice so much for the children in their care and who never really get thanked for it.

This is for the mom who will wake up on Sunday to no flowers or cards and still get breakfast ready for her kids in between diaper changes and sibling peacemaking.

This is for the teacher who is more of a mother to her students than any relationship many of them might have at home.

This is for the aunt who makes cookies with her niece, plays board games with her friends’ kids, and holds babies for tired moms.

This is for the mom who has diligently filed all the paperwork, paid all the fees, and has to wait and wait and wait on bureaucracy until she can finally bring her kid home.

This is for the grandmother who takes her role seriously and shares wisdom, warmth, and a listening ear to her grandbabies.

This is for the pregnant mama who finds herself in a constant state of discomfort and nausea for someone she hasn’t even met yet.

This is for the foster mom who has to go to court and get yelled at by parents as she advocates for children to whom she will have to say goodbye.

This is for the mom who spends every minute either working to provide or caring for her kids, with no one to share the load with and no shoulder to cry on during hard days.

This is for the mom whose children’s hearts feel far away.

To mothers in every capacity, this letter is for you.

Dear Unappreciated Mothers Of All Kinds,

Thank you. Thank you for what you do.

No one can quantify the hours or energy that you spend on these people who could never possibly repay you. But you aren’t doing this to get something out of it, are you? Of course not. You love your kids because you love them.

Your love is so valuable that it could never be manufactured by robots or purchased even for millions of dollars. Your attention is more important to your kids than they would ever verbalize. You are irreplaceable.

You are a culture maker. Your best attributes—and your biggest struggles—shape who your kids will become, and your kids are the future. Your influence as a mom holds far more weight than

how you vote, how much money you make, or how many people follow you on Instagram.

You are shaping a child’s vocabulary, including how they talk about themselves. By enjoying them and opting to do things alongside them, you are giving them confidence and helping them be the kind of people who are so overflowing with love and security that they have room in their hearts to love the lonely and dejected.

You are beautiful. What you might see as undesirable fat might be seen by children as softness that makes you more cuddlable. While you might not have time to style your hair, makeup, or clothes in the ways you prefer, your kids see loveliness.

Every time you clean, every time you prepare a meal, every time you read a story, every time you have a hard conversation, you are caring not just for bodies but for people. You don’t do these things because of how you hope these kids turn out or who they might become, but because you love them right now, as-is, for the juice-spillers and laundry-dirtiers that they are. Whether they say anything or not, they notice.

It’s a powerful thing to be loved.

And loving is how you spend your days. (And probably also big chunks of your nights.)

I hope that others make you feel appreciated today, mama. I really do. But if they don’t, know that what you are doing matters, and you’ll never, ever be able to see how the way you love your kids today will impact generations to come long after you’re gone.

With Love,

the many, many people who benefit (and will benefit) from the sacrifices you make

I hope this was encouraging! Feel free to share it with a friend who might need some encouragement on Mother’s Day.

Here are some songs that might encourage you on this day: