Have you ever thought about the most valuable thing that you have? More than your skills, wardrobe, or bank account is your time and attention.
Time really is probably the most scarce resource. Once a moment has passed, you don’t get to have it again. It’s gone. There’s no going backward. Whew.
Can you wrap your mind around how many ads you see subconsciously? Next time you go on Instagram, keep track of how often your feed shows you ads. I just checked; every third account that showed up in Stories was sponsored! Friend, friend, ad, friend, friend, ad. This is because social media platforms have sold our attention.
Or notice how much shorter TV shows are when you stream them without commercials. A 30-minute show is suddenly 21 minutes. Those 9 minutes (almost 1/3 of the time) were a result of that TV network selling our attention.
Here’s a phone wallpaper you can use as a reminder ⬇️
News networks share the most sad, grotesque, and gossipy headlines because they know what gets more of our attention. Facebook shows us controversial posts from a distant relative before it shows you a thoughtful reflection from your friend because the algorithms know that controversy gets attention. Media profits from dehumanizing and addicting us.
I’m not saying marketing, social media, and technology are evil, but I want to encourage you about the value of you. Don’t undervalue the power of what occupies space in your thoughts and heart. It’s prime real estate!
Ad after ad is an insult to your intelligence. You are worth more than that. (Your kids are worth more than that, too.)
Scared of Being Ourselves
Part of the reason we get addicted to screens is that we’re afraid of boredom. But what’s behind boredom? Søren Kierkegaard is credited with saying that boredom is “the despairing refusal to be oneself.” Wow!
When we choose to scroll on our phones or look for a new show, let’s ask ourselves why.
Am I bored because I’m scared of being alone?
Am I numbing myself so I don’t have to think about hard things?
How many senses am I using to engage with this?
Does this activity make me feel more connected or more separated from reality?
Am I trying to rob myself of something truly good?
Boredom and addiction degrade us. We treat ourselves as if we have less dignity than we actually do.
Let’s embrace our own human dignity this month.
A Challenge
Here’s a challenge for the month of March (or for Lent): consider what optional tech you can turn off. You don’t have to cut out all screens, but consider ways that you might want to try “digital decluttering”; for example:
Only use social media one day of the week
No Youtube for the kids
No Netflix if I’m by myself
Only use the TV during weekends
No phone between the hours of 8 pm and 10 am (see “phone sleeping bag” tip below)
Even more important than figuring out what you’ll give up, however, is figuring out what you’re trying to gain.
During the day, taking more control of your attention might mean you can:
Add more value to your workplace (which ideally would also earn you more money)
Help the people you’re talking to feel prized and worthy
A sense of humor defined by you, not just reposting/viewing memes
Optimize your home so you feel more at peace
A better sense of what the needs in your community are, what your passions/giftings are, and where those two categories intersect
For your leisure/disrectionary time—if you’re in a season where you have any—you might want to create a Focus Basket filled with some things you would like to do instead of doomscrolling. What feels life-giving to you? What’s a fulfilling way to rewind? What’s more appealing than your phone? Some ideas:
A gratitude journal
A watercolor set and pad (and maybe a tutorial book)
An easy read and a more challenging book
Knitting needles and yarn
Stationery for writing letters
Card games or board games to do with someone you love (like Hive Pocket or Dutch Blitz)
Small dumbells, a yoga strap, etc.
May you see your attention as valuable as marketing companies see it.
May you reclaim some dignity that technology addictions might’ve stolen from you.
May you have the bravery to deal with your own thoughts.
May you find meaningful, happy new ways to spend your discretionary time.
May any built-up anxiety from overstimulation fade away.
May your days feel full of good things.
This month’s theme, as you can probably tell, is Attentiveness. We’ll be sharing lots more on this topic this month; feel free to let us know what you’d like to see!
Thanks for reading!
Warmly,
Hope from Family Scripts
Bonus: Announcing Your Break on Social Media
Nobody wants to be the self-righteous goober who brags about their lack of social media use…but it still might be worth it for you to announce that you’re taking a break because:
Some people might be worried about you and wonder if you’re okay
Some people might be upset with why you didn’t respond to them on that platform
Some people might want to join you and see the appeal of unplugging!
If you’re taking a break this month or if you’ve benefited from “digital decluttering” before, let us know in the comments!
Here are three options for “away messages” you can save to your phone and post, as well as a little idea of what you can say in your post:
“Social media has been taking up a lot of my time and energy lately, so I’m going to take a break so I can be purposeful with my attention. If you have been struggling with technology addiction too, I encourage you to join me and try unplugging for a month. I’ll be back here on April 1st!”
Currently taking a social media break this month, as I've been taking one seasonally since reading Digital Minimalism. Always a nice reset.
These are great ideas. I love the digital break images. I'm going to try to put my phone away as soon as I walk in the door. My kids deserve my full attention.