Written Letters Are Permanent Gifts

how to write letters together (+ a tooth fairy tip)

Hello! This month we’re focusing on Thoughtfulness, and I wanted to share about what I believe to be one of the most impactful way to show another person you care about them. Writing someone an encouraging letter is giving them an inexpensive, permanent gift. After your other gifts are used up, lost, or donated to thrift stores, chances are a meaningful letter will still be tucked away in a drawer or box somewhere for whenever your recipient wants to see it again.

You might feel nervous about putting yourself out there by writing letters, but do you know what your recipient won’t say?

• “Thanks, but I didn’t really need any encouragement right now.”

• “I don’t have space for stuff like this.”

• “Wow, you’re not a very good writer, are you?”

Of course you’ll never hear that stuff! Written letters are almost always majorly appreciated. Allow yourself to daydream about how much your letter might mean to the recipient, even in ways that you never even see:

• Maybe they’ll read it over and over, and bring it back out when someone is unkind to them…even 20 years from now.

• Maybe they’ll feel compelled to write an encouraging letter to someone else (the best kind of chain reaction)

• Maybe one day they’ll feel totally worthless and ready to give up…but then they’ll remember that someone thinks they’re quite valuable. There’s even written evidence to prove it. That’s no small thing.

Whatever ideas you have of letter writing—like long feather-pen correspondences written on parchment—I want you to believe that you can do this. Here are some tips:

• “Start with memory, not emotion.” This golden advice from Jonathan Rogers is about how to write an excellent love letter, but it applies to any letter written to someone you love. Talking about concrete experiences—a special time you enjoyed together, something you saw this person do that you admired, etc.—is not only easier but more effective than trying to come up with your own version of a Hallmark card 😉

• Before you start writing, sit and think about the person. What does this friend need to hear? What is hard in their life right now? What lies might they be tempted to believe about themselves? What dry parts of the garden could use some reviving water? What have other people said to you that made you feel very loved?

• Flattery isn’t the goal. If you frequently say things like “You’re the best ____ ever” or you compliment someone for things that you don’t actually mean, it might cheapen what you’re trying to say.

• Someone else might be able to say this better than you, but no one can make it mean as much as you. Imperfect rambling from the earnest heart of someone who knows the recipient will mean more than eloquent phrasing from someone who doesn’t.

Helping Kids Write Letters

Making cards and letters with your kids can be a lifelong, meaningful habit. To help them be even more involved, you can let them choose stamps from the post office or pick out a stationery set from the bookstore.

If you’re like me and get tired of helping your kids know how to spell what they’re trying to say, here are some downloadable sheets with some key phrases. You can mark whichever sentence they’re trying to write. You can also put the sheet in a plastic protector and write on it with dry-erase markers!

For younger kids:

For older kids:

For older kids writing to someone that they don’t know that well (like a janitor, greeter, server, acquaintance, etc.):

Tooth Fairy Hack: Customized Letters

In our family, we tell the kids the truth about Santa, the tooth fairy, etc. but we still have fun with them! We pretend that the tooth fairy has a network of friends who step in to help her; the morning after a child loses a tooth, they find a letter under their pillow from whichever fictional character they’re interested in, written in that character’s voice. You can find quick drawing tutorials on Youtube. (I always add a little tooth wand 😉)

Also, if you don’t regularly have small amounts of cash, you can increase their balance sheet credits simply using an ongoing note on your phone!

These take about 10-15 minutes to make, but your kids will be delighted by the effort. Plus, it’s fun to put yourself in the shoes of Elsa, Spongebob, etc. and be a little silly!

Hopefully this gave you some practical ideas!

Warmly,

Hope from Family Scripts