A Letter to the Burnt Out

some empathy and encouragement + a simple habit way to track habits

To the person who feels exhuasted, anxious, and powerless,

Whew. For whatever reason, the beginning of August usually tends to feel like a drain, and this extra-hot summer hasn’t helped. If you are feeling spent, like butter scraped over too much bread, you’re not just being whiny or weak. This is a hard summer in hard times, and you’re doing hard things.

You can’t compare yourself to pioneers who dug their own wells and sewed their own clothes, just as they shouldn’t have compared themselves to cave people, and people from 2222 shouldn’t compare themselves to people in our time. There might be a day when people say, “Wow, they had to clean floors with a mop? Their vehicles needed oil changes? They had to sit through pointless Zoom meetings and their childcare options were terrible? They were pioneers in the Digital Age, their attention was sold, and their screen addiction was fueled by Big Tech as if there wouldn’t be consequences on their mental health? Those twenty-first century people were tough!” Maybe they won’t say that, but you get the point 😅

If you’re reading this newsletter, it likely means that you’ve chosen a path where you make loving sacrifices for people who probably can’t pay you back. Giving yourself like that can be a tiresome and lonely road. (Remember, though, that hard isn’t the same as bad. How you feel doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the wrong path.)

Seasons Exist

Don’t forget that seasons exist. You might live somewhere that doesn’t have very obvious seasons—I write as a former Floridian who experienced my first real spring this year—but I promise you, things change. You don’t always get to pick what changes happen, or when, or if you’ll like them, but they do change.

I had a ten-year streak of pregnancy insomnia and nursing babies that only ended recently. Sleepless nights were a season—a decade-long season, but it didn’t last forever. Now I’m entering a season where my kids need more mentally and emotionally exhausting guidance from me than ever before, and dealing with their complex hearts is tiring (and sometimes sleep-stealing) in its own way.

We like the canoeing of summer but not the mosquitos; we like winter snow but not driving on black ice. Even fall and spring, in all their glory, bring allergies. We live in a world with a lot of brokenness; there’s simply no perfect season. And if you know anyone who actually feels like they are in a perfect season? Something must be wrong with them 😅

There are aspects of your current season of burnout that will go away. (Maybe you’re the one who needs to make a choice and set a boundary to make sure they do.) But, when you look back on the story that’s been written for you right now, you might see some things you really treasured about this season. There might be ways you’re displaying heroism and being supported by others in your hard things today, and one day you’ll say, “I can’t believe I made it through that.”

Every good story…

Every good story has ups and downs, right? What if these “downs” that you’re in right now are making the redemptive parts of your story that much richer? If you were the author of your story, you might not write such draining circumstances into your life…but you’re not, so maybe you’re becoming more valiant than you even knew you wanted to be!

Can you find meaning in this part of your story? Can you dare to hope that something life-changing could come out of this? I pray that it does 🙏

Practical Tip: Simple Habit Tracker

As we’ve talked about in our month on Health and Strength, one area of wellness tends to affect how you feel in other areas, too. If you’re like me, you’ve tried habit trackers that look like spreadsheets…and never had a single successful day. If you’re self-disciplined enough to stick with twenty new habits, you probably didn’t need many new ones to begin with 😅

But let’s keep it simple: what are three daily habits that would make you feel a lot better about your current situation, even if nothing about it changes? Maybe put them on a post-it note and tape it to your phone.

Here are some habits that could really help if you’re experiencing burnout…don’t you dare expect yourself to do all of them right away; pick three or less!

• Sleep - Go to bed before 11 pm. Even if you get up at 6 am, you’ll still get seven hours of sleep…if you’re not interrupted by your aforementioned season of life. Putting your phone away earlier in the night and taking melatonin can help if you have trouble falling asleep.

• Gratitude - write in your gratitude journal, send a text to someone saying that you’re thankful for them, or set a timer for five minutes and pray

• Exercise - 10 minutes or less to start, maybe? See footnote for some suggestions.¹ A daily walk can work wonders for how you feel, too.

• Time Outside - Awe makes the big things in your life not feel so big anymore.

• Make Your Bed - Even if the rest of your house and life are chaotic, is there any spot that would make you feel like at least one thing is under control? Making your bed or shining your sink can be a good start.

• A Long Hug - Try to hug someone for at least 5-10 seconds each day. Make sure they’re willing, of course 😜

• Take a Break - Can you skip anything like alcohol, fast food, Hulu, Instagram, true crime podcasts, or anything that makes you feel a little yucky afterward? Cut it out for a week and see how you feel.

Psst, we made Habit Tracker printables for you here 😎

Habit Trackers Fs

233KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

One More Tip: Paper Plates

This might make you wince, but if you’ve been there, you’ve been there, and some people need to hear it: if you have a bitter relationship with your kitchen right now, maybe it’s a season where you need to use paper plates. There are worse things you could do to the environment—and let’s avoid styrofoam plates—so if they save you from eating out because the dishes are the most overwhelming part of cooking for your family, you’re saving money, too. 😉

It’s a season. Cut yourself some slack in the ways that don’t hurt anyone, if you can. If your ego and self-expectations are taking a hit right now, that’s not the worst thing, right?

Anway, I hope this helps. I pray that it helps. If you’re burnt out and weary, you’re not alone. If you’re deeply struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out. You are more loved than you could ever dream.

Warmly,

Hope from Family Scripts

P.S. Here are some screensavers for ya!

1. Some at-home workout ideas: Grow With Jo has great low-impact dance workouts, the Seven app guides you through exercises for 7 minutes, Shaun T made a good 5-minute workout, and we’ve shared more. If you’re looking for something more intense, I’m very impressed with Les Mills On Demand and I’ve heard great things about obé; lots of options!