Do our kids see us being brave?
maybe they see you as a hero on the hard days
Hi there! This is the first time we’re trying out an audio option for the newsletter; you should be able to tap on it above. Today I’m joined by my 8-year-old daughter PJ because, well, she’s great 😊 Feel free to listen, or you can just keep reading below ⬇️
When you were a kid, did you think much about being a parent? Did you want to spend your days the way your parents did? Was it appealing to you?
Many of us grew up with dreams of becoming astronauts, scientists, archaeologists, maybe even humanitarian aid workers, but we never daydreamed about parenthood or the jobs our parents had because, uh…boring. Many of us would never want our futures to look like the grownup lives we witnessed.
Why is this?
Lots of reasons, but here’s a big possibility if you grew up in a comfortable, safe home: chances are you never got to see your parents be brave.
I’m not talking about going on a big rollercoaster or taking a faraway vacation. If your parents did all they could to preserve the status quo, maybe you never saw them do something that challenged them for days and years. Maybe you never saw the joy that sacrificial generosity can bring. Maybe they could never answer your “why” questions. Maybe your days never felt like they had much purpose.
If this resonates with you, I beg you not to fall into the same trap.
And if you had a very difficult upbringing, I beg you not to swing the pendulum too far on the side of removing-obstacles-so-your-children-never-suffer-like-you-did.
So whether you’re an astronaut or an accountant, a superstar or a stay-at-home parent, your kids are seeing you be brave when you…
wake up early even though you hate it because you want to get a head start on your day.
quit a habit or substance that has too strong a hold on you.
are in great pain from nursing a baby but you keep going…or you switch to formula because you believe it’ll be best for everyone but you know you’ll get a lot of judgment from your peers.
are completely unskilled at something, but you learn and practice because it’s important to you.
exercise so you can feel strong and have more energy.
cry, not numbing your feelings but finding ways to speak truth to yourself, even in your pain.
P sign up for foster care training even though you feel like you’re totally not the right person for it.
resolve conflicts and make peace.
try something new with your gifts and passions—even if it might mean you spend less time with your kids.1
welcome a difficult person into your life because you know they are hurting and need a friend.
laugh at yourself in an embarrassing moment.
quit something good or persevere through something hard because sometimes the thing you need to do doesn’t make immediate sense.
reach out for help even when it’s hard.
parent difficult children! They know they can be a challenge! Loving them is being brave.
The list could go on for a long time.
When we go through hard things, it helps to remember that how we’re dealing with them—even if we have less-desirable emotions like confusion, sadness and anger—will teach a lot to our kids.
They admire you more than you think, and they probably daydream about adulthood a lot, too. Let’s show them that being a grown-up—even a parent—can be fun and meaningful and heroic.
Past + Upcoming Content
As a reminder, today’s post—and an excellent guest post on Wednesday—will be the only emails you’ll be receiving this week. The daily posts will still show up here at FamilyScripts and I’ll link back to them next Monday, but they won’t be in your inbox.
Last week we shared a September recap and some tips + a meditation for fall.
This week’s emails will include an At-Home County Fair (with lots of printables) and lots of recipes and tips for getting comfortable making bean stews.
Thanks so much for reading.
You’re displaying bravery in more ways than you think.
Warmly,
Hope from Family Scripts (and PJ, if you listened to the audio 😉)
P.S. I would love to hear about times that your kids have seen you be brave, or memories from childhood when you remember seeing an adult be brave!
I’ve been learning this with Family Scripts. My kids want me to make this newsletter! Their support means so much.