Familyween!

making new traditions if trick-or-treating isn't for you

Hi there!

Here’s a permission slip¹: you don’t have to follow annual traditions just because your parents did, or because “everybody else” seems to.

You can even skip Halloween.

We are not anti-Halloween—our family plans to go trick-or-treating this year—but nightmarish images such as scary costumes and gruesome lawn decorations can really stick with people, especially highly sensitive kids.²

It’s not prudish to try to avoid letting your kids see a bloody toddler³ or a sexy nurse. Kids who are very empathetic are probably going to be troubled by people who look badly injured! It can all be confusing for them.

There are plenty of other reasons you might feel personal convictions to not participate in the standard celebrations. So, if Halloween isn’t for you—or maybe you just want to take it a year at a time—I encourage you to start a new tradition!

Your kids can’t ignore that there’s supposed to be a big holiday this time of year—especially if you live in a neighborhood and people will be ringing your doorbell—so why not make the most of it and figure out something that serves your family?

Familyween

Several years ago we started the tradition of Familyween, or [Lastname]ween, —for us, it’s Hencheyween—and it’s been such a hit that we still expect to have this annual family party even if we’re also trick-or-treating. I made a simple orange-and-brown watercolor announcement sign so everyone in the family knew this was an intentionally special time.

Here are some food and activity ideas. I recommend only aiming for 3 or 4; this isn’t supposed to be a burden! Focus on what’s doable.

• Board games that you don’t normally have time for (some family favorites: Sleeping Queens, Stack the States; for older kids: Dutch Blitz, Poetry for Neanderthals)

• Collaborative slab pie. Let each person have a portion of pie crust that they can design, then put it all on top of your pie filling and bake!

• Hide and seek

• Dance party

• Make some of the spooky snacks or do crafts with fall leaves (as we shared last week)

• Invent your own game! My husband came up with a Hencheyween game called “Swing Bonk Splat” where he basically just throws the kids onto a big bean bag. We all chanted “Swing-Bonk-Splat! Swing-Bonk-Splat!” and it was so wild and innocent and sweet. Silly stuff like that creates great memories.

• Dress up and face paint. If you feel like it, you can still have fun with costumes even if you’re not in the mood to see anyone else’s. Make sure you check thrift stores for costumes; they’re barely worn and super cheap!

Here are a couple in-progress pics of our collaborative pie:

If you celebrate Reformation Day or All Saints’ Day, you can incorporate some activities for those holidays, too, like watching a movie about your favorite heroes. (We like the Torchlighters animated films, especially the ones about Gladys Aylward, Eric Liddell, Harriet Tubman.)

Another idea, if you can afford it, is to take an overnight trip! Some families go on an annual October 31st trip to a hotel so their kids aren’t even aware of what they’re missing in their neighborhood.

Whether your family goes trick-or-treating or not, I hope you all have some really sweet memories together this month.

Warmly,

Hope from Family Scripts

P.S. If you want to see a [painted] face for the voice behind our Monday audio recordings, this is PJ as a rockstar! She had so much fun using clothes she already had to look like as much of a trendsetter as possible.

1. We shared a similar permission slip at Easter time. Holidays can be times of self-condemning

2. One of my children is highly sensitive, and I’m highly sensitive, too. Our imaginations can run wild after seeing a scary image. Jessica Wilen from A Cup of Ambition wrote a very helpful post about raising highly sensitive kids and also about being a highly sensitive adult.

3. Different people have different senses of humor; some people think horror makeup on babies is funny and cute, and some people have gone through traumatic things and they don’t find it funny at all.