Guilt Season, Traditions, and Easter Basket Ideas
Is it just me, or has March been a discouraging month? With the changing of the seasons has also come some weariness about the things I haven’t figured out (or felt like doing) yet. Winter is an incredible season, but more time cozying up indoors can also bring stir-craziness, sickness, a messier home, family drama…and a few extra pounds around the middle 😬 It also feels like I should be further along with my various goals, but “should” doesn’t belong in my vocabulary.
I’ve been mentally toggling between criticizing myself and pitying myself, neither of which are kind or helpful thought patterns. Do you struggle with this too?
Refocusing and becoming more self-aware isn’t supposed to feel like “guilt season.” (Please remember this if you are observing Lent this spring, too; self-loathing is not the goal of Lent.)
Guilt is unproductive.
The more general your feelings of failure are, the more hopeless you’ll feel. You don’t have time for that and your attention is worth more than that.
My friend Jessamyn suggests some helpful questions to ask yourself when dealing with discouraging trains of thought:
What is the premise of this thought?
What is this train’s ultimate destination?
Is a general sense of guilt going to actually help you reach your goals and focus on what’s important to you? Usually no, it’s just paralyzing. Or worse.
Maybe you do need to give attention to parts of your life that need to be reevaluated or revitalized. But general guilt and not-enoughness isn’t going to help ❤️
Making Traditions Work For You
As Easter approaches, maybe you feel like you need to do all the traditions your mom did, or that other moms in your Instagram feed or your kid’s homeroom are doing. Nope.
One of the wonderful things about having a family is that you get to create your own traditions! It’s very possible that some of the best traditions you can do this year are “staying within budget”, “having a calm attitude,” and “creating margin in our schedule.”
A friend threw her son a very simple birthday party last year and she told me something like, “The theme is ‘Mom isn’t falling apart.’” I love that.
Here are some permission slips for you regarding traditions:
You do not have to make Easter baskets or buy fancy dresses.
You do not have to decorate for spring.
You don’t have to buy candy or bake something special.
Just because something is good—or even amazing—doesn’t mean you have to do it.
Just because you did something last year doesn’t mean you have to do it this year.
Just because you couldn’t do something this year doesn’t mean it can’t happen next year.
Money is tighter than usual for most people this year. You’re not the only person who can’t do everything they want to do for their kids1. (Even mega-millionaires can’t do everything they want to do for their kids.) It's okay. ❤️
Changing Up Traditions
If you are doing an Easter basket this year, consider buying your kids items that don’t end with them. Some examples:
Stationery or mini-stationery for letter-writing
Clay for making earrings and miniature toys for others
Gardening gloves for tending to seedlings or cleaning up litter
Things that are better with friends, like temporary tattoos or a soccer ball
A cookbook or baking mix for surprising others with treats
A hobby that can bring joy to others, like a cute drawing book, balloon animals, or watercolor kit
As previously shared, here are some ways you can make holiday traditions your own: decorate raw Easter eggs (and still cook food with the eggs later), celebrate an at-home Familyween in October, and make simple substitutes for Christmas ideals. Or just do what you’re familiar with, or something different altogether…or nothing.
The point is that if you weary yourself with doing unnecessary things just because you feel like you should do them, your kids will notice. (“Should” is a dangerous word, remember.)
But if you prioritize doing things that you will actually enjoy doing with your kids, they’ll notice that, too! If you enjoy the typical traditions, that’s so awesome. Yes yes yes. Go for it.
But, as cheesy as it sounds, let your biggest tradition be “love.”
I hope this helps!
Feel free to share this post with someone who might feel a bit trapped in “guilt season” too.
Warmly,
Hope from Family Scripts
See my post “To the parent who can’t give their kid everything.”
What a great post, Hope. The theme of my entire LIFE is "Mom isn’t falling apart" -- I rarely do extra things for my family (much less anyone else) that completely deplete me, because what's the point of that, exactly? -- but even I need this reminder when it comes to holidays. I do what I do because I enjoy it, but some years, I can't pull it off in the same way I have in the past or meet my own expectations, and it never feels good. After skipping the annual Easter egg hunt I host on our property last year because I was just too exhausted, this year I had the opportunity to ask myself if it was something I actually wanted to do again -- to spend the time, money, effort, and energy to do all the things that requires -- rather than just go ahead with it, on auto-pilot. It's hard when my kids -- and other kids in our life -- enjoy a tradition that I just can't make happen sometimes, because I feel like I'm letting them down, but I try to remind myself that if I do it enough years -- not necessarily *every* year -- that that's good enough. Making memories isn't about perfection (and neither is being a good mother, for that matter).
My favorite part was the quote at the bottom "Love is the Best Tradition."